Letter, Abraham Lincoln to Mary S. Owens reflecting the frustration of courtship, 16 August 1837

Reproduction number: A103 (color slide; page 1); A104 (color slide; page 2); LC-MSS-03189-78 (B&W negative; pages 1 and 2)
In autumn 1836, Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865), then a twenty-seven-year-old Illinois representative studying law, agreed rather enthusiastically to marry Mary S. Owens (1808-1877), whom he had met three years earlier when she was visiting her sister in New Salem, Illinois. Essentially, Lincoln entered into a scheme with Mary's sister to entice Mary from her home in Kentucky to Illinois, never doubting that she would be willing to accept him for a husband. But Lincoln had not seen Mary since her previous visit, and upon her arrival, found himself in a predicament. Mary was not nearly as beautiful as he remembered. In fact, as he explained to another friend: "I knew she was over-size, but she now appeared a fair match for Falstaff; I knew she was called an 'old maid,' and I felt no doubt of the truth of at least half of the appelation [sic]; but now, when I beheld her, I could not for my life avoid thinking of my mother; and this, not from withered features, for her skin was too full of fat to permit its contracting in to wrinkles; but from her want of teeth, weather-beaten appearance in general, and from a kind of notion that ran in my head, that nothing could have commenced at the size of infancy, and reached her present bulk in less than thirtyfive or forty years; and, in short, I was not all pleased with her." (Abraham Lincoln to Eliza Caldwell (Mrs. Orville H.) Browning, 1 April 1838, in The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, vol. 1, ed. Roy P. Basler (New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press), 118.)
Shortly after Mary arrived in New Salem, Lincoln left to attend the legislature and then moved to Springfield, Illinois, in April 1837 to practice law with John Todd Stuart (1807-1885). He and Mary spent little time together, and their correspondence reflects their shaky relationship. In the letter exhibited here, Lincoln wrote to Mary seemingly to assure her of his determination to go through with the marriage, but in reality to give her an opportunity to break their "engagement." Mary apparently detected his true feelings and rejected his dutifully repeated proposal of marriage. This in turn left Lincoln somewhat mortified. He now had been rejected by someone he had assumed no one else would want to marry. As he put it: "Others have been made fools of by the girls; but this can never be with truth said of me. I most emphatically, in this instance, made a fool of myself." (Ibid., 119.)